sometimes looking back can be funny...

sometimes it brings up painful memories.

in high school i kept a few different journals.

i burned some of them... lol. for therapeutic reasons!

i still have a few of them.

occasionally, i'll go back and flip through them.

some entries in those journals always stick out to me, but sometimes "new" things stick out. i'm sure that has to do with where i am in life at the particular moment i'm reading them.

today i saw one of them sitting near my scrapbook table so i flipped it open to the first page and this is what i had written...

"when you REALLY love someone, you don't need space. when you REALLY love someone, the space and the distance hurts."

just after that, there was a note to flip to a particular entry dated a little while later. that entry had a highlighted section. it said...

"what does it mean with the space STOPS hurting?"

now, i know what that entry meant at the time that i wrote it (and who it was written about)... no, i'm going to tell you... :)

i also know what it means to me now... no i'm not telling you that either! lol

i did laugh when i read those two entries because it reminded me of how superficial "love" was at that time in my life.

it made me sad because i remember how much unnecessary hurt i exposed myself to... over and over and over again.

it made me glad that i'm not in high school again!

it made me worry that my girls may (and probably will) face that same kind of hurt.

it made me realize that those entries have helped make me who i am today.

not back... just yet...

i'm not really back to blogging just yet, but i had to share the conversation i just heard in the car:

Chandler needed a new school folder so she gave Riley her old school folder. While we were in teh carpool line, Riley thought it was funny to drop it and laugh then call for me to pick it up.

C: "Riley. Stop dropping that folder."
R: giggling "Mommy. Up"
C: "Riley. Stop it. I really mean it."
R: giggling "Mommy. Up"
C: "Riley. Look at my eyebrows! They are not happy!"
R: hysterical laughter!!!

I admit I started cracking up too!

J: "Chan? What did you just say?
C: "I said, 'look at my eyebrows. they are not happy!'"
J: "That's what I thought you said. You are a funny kid."
C: "I know!"

Yes. Horrible. I know.

I know. I've been a horrible blogger.

You know when you just get into that "funk". The kind where you think to yourself, "I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE TODAY! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

That's me... lately anyway. I'm sure I'll see the light at the end of the tunnel and then I'll be back to "normal"... or whatever that is for me! :)

I really do miss my bloggy friends. I've really tried hard to keep up with all of you... forgive me for not commenting on your posts... I'm horrible... I fully recognize that!

Quick and to the point...

It may be a few more days before I get back into the blogging routine...

I spent 2 days this week in bed with what I was guessing was a sinus infection. I took Nyquil and drank lots of water...

Last night about 10pm my right ear clogged up... it did the same thing last Friday right before I had to sing, but about 2 hours later it was fine...

Last night... NOT SO FINE.

At about 11pm, I was in so much pain I was crying! It felt like someone was stabbing a knife in my ear!

I couldn't lay down in bed... that made it worse.

I took my pillow and blanket to the sofa and propped myself up... no relief.

At 4am, I woke Brandon because I couldn't take the pain anymore. I was sobbing... I hate getting that worked up over anything! It was the UGLY CRY!

At 4:30am, I drove myself to the Emergency Room (I didn't want to get the girls out of bed!).

The prognosis was this...
*Sinus Infection (I KNEW IT!)
*Ear Infection (I was pretty sure of that)
*Eardrum Perforation (HAD NO CLUE!)
*Eustachian Tube Dysfunction (I don't even know what that is!!!)

So basically, I came home in just as much pain as when I left, but was given a prescription for Hydrocodone... my best friend from my surgery back in September! I had some left over so I popped one in and fell asleep about 6:30am.

Brandon took Chandler to school and picked up Jeremiah. He worked from home today and let me sleep till almost 10, when Jeremiah decided to wake up.

So as long as I stay on the hydrocodone or extra strength tylenol, I'm feeling ok... beside the fact that my ear is still clogged up!
I've got amoxicillin for the sinus infection and ear drops for the ear infection.

When I can sit up right and type without grabbing my face or ear in pain... I'll get back to blogging!

Hope everyone else is having a better week than I am!

Has it really been over 2 weeks?

Wow! I haven't blogged in over 2 weeks!

Life has just been CRAZY! Evan was here for 2 weeks and we've been trying to get back into our "regular" routine... if there is such a thing!

I just haven't felt like blogging...

and sadly, my Project 365 went down the tubes when my camera decided to stop working properly. It was just too hard to keep up with it using my camera on my phone. :(

But here's a picture I took a few minutes ago...

is it ok to bribe my kid with M&Ms to make her poop in the potty?

If it were working, I would say yes... so far, no such luck!

Oh yeah! I forgot to mention that Riley turned 2 on March 2nd! Happy Birthday Baby Girl!!